Sunday, April 24, 2011

dear future baby willett,

may marks the month that i am supposedly supposed to conceive you.
i approach may optomistically, but only as positive as i approach every other month.
may marks the ninth month that your dad and i have been trying to create you.
i dont understand why we are having such trouble, but i have faith that one day i will get to grow you in my belly and hold you in my arms.
they alway say not to worry until after 12 months.
they say that up until 12 months, its completely normal to conceive at any time.
they say that some times it just naturally takes longer.
i put all of my trust in to that, but as 2 months turned in to 5 months and 5 months turned in to 9 months and 9 months may turn in to 12 months with still no baby in sight does get my hopes down.
for many people the journey begins as soon as they find out they are pregnant,
but for me it started a little earlier then that.
they say the best way to get pregnant is to stop trying.
we've stopped "trying" but how can you cease to think about the biggest dream and goal you have for your life?
i know that i am young and that some may not understand the rush, which we aren't really in a rush.
i do worry that maybe we can't have children. that maybe we just aren't made to be parents.
i guess some things you just have to wait and see.

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